Henny’s Dilemma

So what if Henny Penny is actually right? What if the sky really IS falling?

What to do? What to do? After all, no one really knew how to measure the height of the sky.  Then there was that whole “metrics versus inches” debacle. It seemed that there was no clear answer, but Henny had noticed that the barn had become considerably warmer at night and decided that the sun (which is in the sky after all….duh!) had to be closer to the barn and that meant that the sky was slowly falling.  Henny had a keen head for deductive logic not to be confused for inductive logic which as any good politician can tell you means that you start with facts and insert any conclusion that serves your purpose.

Now that I think of it, Henny Penny must have been a Muslim carpet cleaner in a past life and would have made a great vice presidential candidate, but alas, Henny was never the actual ‘mayor’ of a barnyard.  On the other hand, Miss Sarah, noted wolf hunter and chicken manure expert was a great candidate so she quit her job as head egg collector half way through her term because she had a book signing tour coming up and she needed to review her copy of Dictionary for Dummies.

Back to the whole “sky is falling” issue. It could happen! Right? The problem is that no one knows what the sky looks like when it has officially “fallen,” so no one listened to Henny Penny. All of the barnyard animals convened a fine committee to study the issue, but couldn’t agree on the color of an actual fallen sky.  On the other hand, some people did listen to the “Boy who cried wolf” who was a close personal friend of Captain John McCorn who had patiently waited his turn to be king of the barnyard but everyone was afraid that instead of catching the big bad wolf, he would have blown up the barn and anyway he was too friendly with the hawk.

Thus, it turns out; Miss Sarah was the choice with more experience. (But only just) Besides, Henny had apparently, on more than one occasion, walked on the same planet with a fox and as a consequence, might be a closet barnyard terrorist. Which, as we all know, is bad juju in henhouse politics. Not to mention the fact that Miss Sarah was waaaaay taller than Henny Penny and, well, let’s face it, Henny Penny had never even been to a soccer game!

Then there was the issue of Henny’s birth certificate.  There was talk that she wasn’t actually born.  They say that she was hatched by a plot that involved a grassy knoll and a one armed man.  Who knew?  Not only that!  Henny had apparently been raised by geese on a horse ranch in far away New Jersey.

Captain John had whipped all the animals into a fine rage and petitioned the farmer to kill the wolf, but it turns out that the boy was lying. So now he’ll have to go home and just be the senator from Arizona which really upset poor Mother Goose because she was writing this really great story about a young girl with a red hooded jacket who also knew a thing or two about automatic weapons and had actually seen a picture of Moscow. (it turns out that the book was an unauthorized biography of Miss Sarah and was almost on the New York Times Bestseller list for almost a week).   Besides, the wolf who was as we all know a gray wolf, which is waaaaay worse than one of those white arctic wolves who’ll probably be on the endangered species list after Exxon finishes drilling holes all over the Great North……Oh, I don’t know. I am so confused. I don’t know if the sky is falling or if the wolf is in the henhouse or if Mother Goose ever ran for an elected office. This fairy tale is getting out of hand!
The moral of the story is:
Never count your chickens before they’re hatched
Slow and steady wins the race
Your mother WAS right!  You really could put your eye out with that thing!

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